“Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find out who you really are.” Or in my case just unravel in front of everyone around you. I was a billboard for “WARNING: contents under pressure may burst!” Have you ever felt that way? If you have, then you probably know what happened next.
BOOM! All the tiny pieces of you float through the air. Each moment a different piece hitting you causing a little more pain, anger, and at points shock. Who the hell did I become? What happened to me? More importantly, why is this happening to me!? Over six months I spent being consumed by this beast. One day like a slap in the face, I realized who I had become. A bi-product of who and what others thoughts, opinions, and judgments created me to be. Over countless years I had heard so many things my bosses, friends, family, and even strangers said. I allowed that shit to matter and build a version of myself that diminished the person I used to be.
“Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find out who you really are.” -unknown
I believed what other people said, I let this become my truth. The next lesson learned was that I never gave myself time to just be myself. From college on each job I had I became. If you feel like this use caution, stop to smell the roses because I promise you, it will not turn out well. I got married, so I became a wife. Had a daughter, became a mom, the list goes on. Sound familiar? If it does, stay with me it gets better, hang on tight this too shall pass. You will find you on the other side.
Looking at what a mess I had become inside it led me to question, how the hell do I get out of this? My daughter looks up to me, is this the strength I want her to learn? The night before I made my decision to make change, my daughter said, “mom, live your dreams you can be anything you want to be. Don’t be scared, I got your back.”–she’s five! I looked back on my life, wrote lists of what I was proud of–it was short, go figure! The list of what I wasn’t proud of is where I started. I set out on a path to right where I went wrong. Might as well do something about it, aside from taking pity on myself!
One of the biggest things that stood out on my journey was that I had stopped doing what I loved, what I felt happiness in. I’m fortunate that my persistent husband kept asking the question, “when were you the most happy, the most at peace?” I had answered the question a million times over the course of our relationship, I just never took the risk to change my situation, or my mindset. It’s not easy for anyone to trade certain for uncertain, or put all the chance on ourselves. The thing is I didn’t have a choice anymore. I was desperate to find the fiery, ambitious, and passionate person I was.
Mom, live your dreams you can be anything you want to be. Don’t be scared, I got your back.
I left a job I loved. So why did I leave if I loved it? I didn’t want to wake up as a chameleon anymore. I didn’t want to compromise my beliefs, or not be my true self anymore in order to run someone else’s business. As usual I had become my job, and my personal life was suffering for it. Just to clarify, this company helped me realize my passion and find the path I took. I still care about the company and the people, but that’s not a good enough a reason to hold on.
Altering your entire life is never inviting, but it has been the most exciting and rewarding thing I have ever done. With out a safety net, there’s a lot more you are capable of than you think. I studied my ass off, got certified as a personal trainer and nutrition specialist, got licensed as a STRONG by Zumba instructor, and formed Find Your Fitness LA, LLC. Instead of running someone else’s business, I decided to run my own — my dream. I had given almost two decades 110% dedication for someone else’s dream, so why not invest in my self!?
I don’t like to gamble, but if there’s one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s myself. — Beyoncé .
new life chapter one
I was lucky enough to find my strength and passion in health and fitness, but the struggle is still out there for so many. That’s my focus, to educate, empower, and encourage you to make the changes to live your happiness and find your fitness. The health and fitness industry is so intimidating, overwhelming, and CONFUSING! I understand the struggle women and men go through from working in the fashion industry for years, it’s hard to avoid the self-depreciating mindset. Achieving my health and fitness goals after years of research and trial & error is the reason I founded this business. The fitness industry is flooded with trainers, methods, and products to buy. Many programs work, and even more don’t. That’s why it’s so important for me to create a personalized approach to health and fitness.
Sometimes there is no choice but to choose to make decisions alone because then you know they are yours. Asking for an opinion all the time is just an easier way for you not to listen to yourself. Making the decision is the first step, the growth is the last step, but the process that comes in between is where the real change happens. That’s what I’m here for.
In finding your fitness,
Tags: fitness, health, lifestyle, nutrition, wellness